a cold night with my soul

[Waking]

I’m going through this divorce and lately I’ve been thinking a lot about friendship both in and out of family.
I've been reaching out for friendship and not having much response. I honestly feel as if I don’t have any friends to really connect with…

I’m single parenting my little three year-old fifty percent of the time now and I just found out he has some form of autism…I’m optimistic he will develop progressively better once we get him into an early intervention program with our school district.

Anyhow, I can’t help but notice how little my family and friends express their empathy or willingness to reciprocate when I make conspicuously friendly gestures. A few are outright avoiding me.
There really seems to be something akin to an archetype of the pariah or outcast man once he’s out of wedlock. This phenomenon has been more or less confirmed by some fellow men I’ve mentioned my experience to.

I suspect part of it is the society I find myself in expects men to be heroic about everything.
'Buck up soldier - you’re not supposed to want or need a friendly ear or compassion (much less soul companionship) from a familiar throughout this ordeal…come on now, cowboy up!'

I grant no one can go through this for me…yet I can't help but wonder if it isn’t an inside job (i.e. a soul job) – you know, being made to go it alone, with little friendship in order to make it more a complete dark night.

Nevertheless it feels sad and I grieve after extending myself, reaching out for friendship amongst friends and family and finding what seems a non-committal response at best. And meantime stars twinkle, crickets chirp and tumbleweeds pass, blown by lonely prairie winds across an otherwise quiet evening in this life...now there's soul!

Will I ever find a friend to share soulful pursuits with?

[Waking]

thanks for acknowledging and understanding me rob...it means a lot.

[Rob]

Hi, I just found this! I'm still learning to navigate this forum and all the links attached to it. It's an important post, and I felt it shouldn't be ignored, ie I wanted to let you know I read it, and I understand the feeling of being somewhat left out in the cold by one's family and friends.